


A Murder, In Nursery Rhymes

by betsybugaboo (orphan_account)



Series: Literally every fictional character lives here [1]
Category: Nursery Rhymes & Songs
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-11
Updated: 2014-06-11
Packaged: 2018-02-04 05:16:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,611
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1766848
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/betsybugaboo
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A pall falls over the town of Verseville. A murder has been committed, and the killer is at large.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Murder, In Nursery Rhymes

**Author's Note:**

> I did this as a English project that started as a paragraph with my vocabulary words but had to have the theme of mystery, and it just snowballed from there. I don't own anything mentioned. If anyone wants to use my 'verse, PM me in advance. Also on fanfiction.net

The whispers, like wildfire, spread throughout the small town, bringing a pall over the community. “'Humpty Dumpty, the poor lad, has been murdered,' I heard! ‘Well, I heard that that, er, tenacious girl, Mary, I believe, saw it all from her garden... 'Course, ev'rybody in town knows she plays fast and loose with the truth, so we can't tell if she did see or not.'”

oooo

A clattering, cumbersome cart clanked down the road. In it sat Police Chief Peter Calabaza and Detective Jack Sauter. It was obvious to anyone that they was perhaps a little too jubilant about the reason for the hurry.

Humpty Dumpty had in fact been reported dead, and considering how small the town of Verseville was, (a population of 150, give or take a dozen people named Jack), it was usually slow down at the station.

“So,” Jack said, turning to Chief Peter, “Who do you think did it? My money's on that little thief Tom, personally…”

Peter sighed internally. “Jack, we cannot form opinions before we examine the evidence carefully. Anyway, we've arrived.”

Jack sprung down from the bench. He had a tendency to do that, a deep seated idiosyncrasy that unfortunately tended to drive the Chief nuts. Peter's demeanor changed as he examined the body, carefully detaching his emotions from the crime.

Blood spatter covered most of the surrounding area. The back of Humpty’s –no, the victim’s- head was smashed into a gory mess. The fence next to him was splattered with blood. It would appear he had fallen (or been pushed) off the wall onto the pavement beneath, except for the fact that the body appeared to have been positioned on its back, with its hands crossed over its chest like a mummy. The chief bowed his head for a moment in respect for the dead.

As far as he knew, Humpty had been a quiet kid. The only dangerous thing he did was sit at the top of the crumbling wall that surrounded the town and smoke. He had a rather large head (literally), but that was probably his only distinguishing feature, and that wasn't too strange for this town. Who would have a reason to kill him?

Jack pulled out a battered camera and started carefully taking polaroids of the scene. Peter took a sample of the splattered blood, then carefully zipped the corpse into a body bag to load into the cart. “Jack, I will go talk to Mary Contraire. She called in the murder this morning, so she may have noticed something. When you are done, take the body to the morgue.”

oooo

"Well, he was certainly murdered." Doctor Foster started. The man was an opinionated old codger, but was the only doctor in town with a non-purchased diploma. Sniffing aristocratically, he continued. "The defensive wounds on his wrists prove he struggled. His wallet has been rifled through, but it appears to have everything. I also found some wood splinters in the wounds on the back of his head. The weapon must have been something long and thin. Time of death was around 8:00 pm, cause of death was exsanguination."

Jack nodded. Time for his least favorite part of an investigation: door-to-door canvassing. He could already feel blisters forming on his feet.

oooo

Peter, chief of police for twenty plus years, was frustrated. Beyond frustrated. He could feel the veneer of polite interest dissolve as he listened to the only witness blathered on and on about everything but the crime.

“Yeah, that little tramp Lucy Locket keeps insisting that I'm the one who stole her wallet, but seriously everyone knows it was that klepto Mary and her stupid sheep. What, is she Welsh? I mean, really! I have better things to do with my time than-"

“Enough! I believe you. Please, just tell me what you saw last night.”

“Oh, yeah. I was out in my garden listening to music and making sure everything was neat, and I looked up to see Humpty and someone with a broom talking. It looked like he was giving the person his wallet or something. I went back to my gardening, but I looked up before I went inside and saw what looked like a bundle of trash or rugs lying on the ground by the wall. When I got up this morning, I saw-” Sniffling, she cut herself off.

“What time were you out gardening?” Peter asked gently.

“Ummm… sometime around 7:45-ish. I work at the gardening shop, in Manga City, which is about twenty minutes from my house so I have to get up at 7:30 in the morning to get there so I'm in bed by nine.”

“Can you tell me what the unknown person looked like?”

“Um, I think it was a guy, but I couldn't tell. They were wearing dark clothes, and whoever it was, they had a broom. Sorry, that’s it.” Mary smiled apologetically.

“Thank you for your time" Chief Peter said. Mary made some sound of acknowledgement, but he was already deep in thought. _The murder weapon must have been the broom. But who in town could have done it?_

Looking up, he could see Detective Jack was across the street, a few houses down at Mrs. Hubbard's house, about to knock on the door. As he approached, he could hear Jack questioning Mother Hubbard.

“Last night, Humpty Dumpty was murdered. Did you happen to notice any suspicious people last night?”

“There was a strange young man carrying a broom who went by my house last night. He was giggling loudly and looked drunk. I asked him if he had a place to stay. He said he was staying at the Shoe Motel and he was heading in that direction, so I let him go.”

“Thank you, ma’am. This sounds like something we’ll have to investigate” Jack said politely.

“Oh, you’re welcome, dearie. Next time I make cookies, I’ll send some your way.” With that, Mrs. Hubbard closed the door.

“The man she described matches the description Mary Contraire gave me. It seems that Shoe Motel should be the next spot we investigate.”

oooo

Shoe Motel lay on the edge of town. It was the type of building that would make an architect weep, but not for good reasons. Originally, the motel had resembled a large boot, set upright. However, the motel had fallen into a state of disrepair after the owner’s, Mrs. Nogi’s, children left home. The motel was constantly on the edge of being condemned nowadays.

The bells on the door of the office jangled, alerting Mrs. Nogi to Peter’s presence. Jack, the taller of the two, swore under his breath as he ducked under the sagging door way. “Good morning, Officers! What can I do for you today?” Mrs. Nogi called.

“Have you had anyone with a broom stay here recently?”

“Yes, a young man came in two nights ago with his belongings in a bundle tied to a broom. He checked out this morning. His name is in the registrar as David Little.”

“Can we look around the room he was staying in?”

“Of course you can! I haven’t cleaned it yet.” Mrs. Nogi handed them the key. “Just don’t steal the little shampoo bottles, okay?”

oooo

At first glance, the room appeared to be unused. The only evidence someone had stayed there was the missing towels and soaps. Oh, and the partially burned, bloody jacket in the waste bin. Jack carefully bagged it as evidence while Peter dusted the faucet handles for fingerprints. Remarkably, the sink’s handles were free of prints except for a few unsmudged prints which Peter collected with a piece of tape. Verseville was too small for a police lab, so the prints, blood sample, and jacket would be sent to nearby Manga City for processing.

oooo

The next morning, the results were back. The blood on the jacket was confirmed to be a match to Humpty Dumpty. The fingerprints were a match to one David Doubt. Doubt had two previous murders to his name, one of his elderly mother and one of an apparent stranger, apparently a mugging gone wrong. With both victims David had stolen all the money and valuables on the body. Both killings were extremely similar to that of Humpty’s, except that Doubt had written a short poem in blood on the wall by the bodies that read:

> _Here come I,_
> 
> _Little David Doubt;_
> 
> _If you don't give me money,_
> 
> _I'll sweep you all out._

“It sounds like we have a serial killer on the loose.” Jack remarked.

“Send out an APB to all cities within a 100 mile radius. He can’t have gotten far, there are no motor vehicles within a day’s walk.” Chief Peter ordered. It was of utmost importance that they find Doubt before he could kill again.

oooo

Jack urged the horse to hurry. Ten minutes ago, Jack Horner, a local baker, had reported that Doubt had come into his bakery to ask for directions to Cinema Town. Now, Verseville’s finest were racing to capture the serial killer before he could escape. There! David Doubt was up on the road ahead, unmistakable with his broom.

“David Doubt! Stop, in the name of the law!” Peter yelled through a megaphone.

David startled, then broke into a run.

Peter pulled out his service revolver. “Stop or I’ll shoot!”

Doubt continued running, even as the police cart gained on him. Aiming carefully, Peter shot Doubt in the foot. The killer dropped like a stone.

Jack slowed the cart and leapt down from the seat. Pulling out handcuffs, he leaned over the prone Doubt. “You have the right to remain silent…”

**Author's Note:**

> For this short story, I created a universe where all fiction is connected. Verseville is populated by nursery rhyme characters, Manga City is a much larger town populated by manga characters. (It has a sister city, Animopolis, and many characters commute between the two.), etc. I anthropomorphized Humpty Dumpty from an egg to a guy with a large head. It makes it a bit easier to imagine for me.


End file.
